• SUGAR-FREE

    Q: What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet? A: A desserter.

  • BURNING CALORIES

    I get plenty of exercise – jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

  • Being Economical

    A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

  • SHIPWRECK

    Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A. A nervous wreck.

  • SAD JOB

    Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job? A: Because it was soda pressing.

  • KANGAROO BIRTHDAY

    What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday? Hoppy Birthday!

  • MATH BUDDIES

    Q: What do you call friends who love math? A: Algebros

  • COURTSHIP SIGNALS

    Q. Why shouldn’t you marry a tennis player? A. Because Love means nothing to them.

  • ALL’S WE’LL THAT ENDS WE’LL

    We’ll we’ll we’ll…if it isn’t autocorrect.

  • HAVE YOU REALLY?

    Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”

  • WEATHER OR NOT, HERE I COME

    Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game to play? A: TWISTER

  • WE NEVER WANT THIS RAIN TO GO AWAY

    Q. What do clouds do when they become rich? A. They make it rain!

  • JUST RELAX

    Q: Why are skeletons so calm? A: Because nothing gets under their skin!

  • MOON MISHAP

    Q. What did Neil Armstrong do after he stepped on Buzz Aldrin’s toe? A. He Apollo-gized.

  • SODIUM SASS

    Q. Want to hear a Sodium joke? A. Na.

  • IT’S ALL RELATIVE

    In 1905, Albert Einstein published a theory about space. And it was about time.

  • BIG BLUE BULLY

    Q. What does Earth say to tease the other planets? A. “You guys have no life.”

  • BIG BLUE BULLY

    Q. What does Earth say to tease the other planets? A. “You guys have no life.”

  • MINTY FRESH

    Q. What do scientists use to freshen their breath? A. Experi-mints!

  • LUNAR HUMOR

    Q. Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon? A. It was full!

Latest Additions