• APRIL FOOL’S MONSTER

    Q: What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes? A: Prankenstein.

  • SICK SNOWMAN

    Q. What do snowmen do when they’re not feeling well? A. They take a chill pill!

  • THANKFUL MILK

    Q: What does lactose-free milk wish to the world? A: Soy to the world

  • A PROPOSAL

    Q. How did the telephone propose to its girlfriend? A. He gave her a ring.

  • COFFEE THIEF

    Q: What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee? A: Mugging!

  • ANIMAL ATTRACTION

    Q. What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day? A. You’re purrr-fect for me.

  • CHARGING BULL

    Q. What’s the first thing you should do if a bull charges you? A. Pay him!

  • MATH FOR OWLS

    Q: What kind of math do owls like? A: Owlgebra

  • CLUMSY FISH

    Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? A: “Dam!”

  • ANIMALS WITH SMARTS

    Q: What’s the smartest animal? A: A fish because they stay in schools!

  • DRESSY ALLIGATOR

    Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? A: An Investigator!

  • SLEEPING DOGS

    On a Facebook page for beginning artists, one asked, “Any suggestions for painting dogs?” Another responded,  “Wait till they’re asleep.”

  • BIRTHDAY CLAM

    What does a clam do on his birthday? He shellabrates!

  • MORE COFFEE

    Sleep is a weak substitute for coffee.

  • SHIPWRECK

    Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A. A nervous wreck.

  • SUGAR-FREE

    Q: What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet? A: A desserter.

  • DINOSAUR GROANS

    Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make? A. A dino-snore

  • SMARTY PANTS

    The skeleton decided to bone up on the facts for the big exam.

  • MUSICAL SNAKE

    What is the musical part of a snake? The scales.

  • COMFORT FOOD

    Q: Which dessert is perfect for eating in bed? A: A sheet cake.

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