I allowed myself to cry, feel the pain but for a short while: Sonali on battling cancer

Team Udayavani, Oct 10, 2018, 11:59 AM IST

New York: Sonali Bendre on Tuesday shared a motivational post on her social media accounts, opening up about her “bad days” as she battles cancer.

The 43-year-old actor, who is currently in New York undergoing treatment for high-grade cancer, said she does go through moments of “pain and self-pity”, but does not let these emotions control her life.

“Over the past couple of months, I have had good days and bad ones. There have been days when I’ve been so exhausted and in so much pain that even lifting a finger hurt. I feel like sometimes it’s a cycle one that starts off with physical pain and leads to mental and emotional pain.

“The bad days have been many Post chemo, post-surgery and the like where even just laughing hurts. Sometimes it felt like it took everything I’ve had to push past it a minute to minute battle with myself. I got through it knowing that even though I was fighting a long drawn out, draining battle it was one that was worth the fight,” Sonali wrote.

The actor said it was not necessary to push oneself to always feel happy, but one should not get caught in the negative zone.

“It’s important to remember that we’re allowed to have those bad days. Forcing yourself to be happy and cheerful all the time serves no purpose. Who are we being fake and putting on an act for? I allowed myself to cry, to feel the pain, to indulge in self-pity For a short while.

“Only you know what you’re going through and it is fine to accept it. Emotions aren’t wrong. Feeling negative emotions isn’t wrong. But after a point, identify it, recognise it and refuse to let it control your life. It takes an immense amount of self-care to get out of that zone,” she said.

Sonali added having a peaceful sleep or just talking to her son, Ranveer, whom she has with producer husband Goldie Behl, makes her happy.

“For now, as my treatment continues my visual focus remains to just get better and get back home,” she added.

The actor revealed in July that was diagnosed with a “high-grade cancer”.